Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam…

COMMANDMENT 1.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

COMMANDMENT 2.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

COMMANDMENT 3.
Marriage is grand — and divorce is at least 100 grand!

COMMANDMENT 4.
Married life is very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.

COMMANDMENT 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

COMMANDMENT 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one.
The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

COMMANDMENT 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something you say.
After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

COMMANDMENT 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and
a good cook… But the law allows only one wife.

COMMANDMENT 9.
Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry….
That is why wife treats husband like toxic waste.

COMMANDMENT 10.
A man is incomplete until he is married…. After that, he is finished.

Friday recap

Although the day is still quite young, I think I’ll take a cue from Lee and post some things I’ve learned this week. Here’s What I learned Friday:

  1. There are some really funny bloggers out there.
  2. Blogging takes time.
  3. Lots of time.
  4. My boss wants to know where the report is that should have been done Tuesday.
  5. My boss doesn’t want to hear about blogs.
  6. I’m envious of bloggers and their spouses having babies.
  7. I’m still very happy for them, just jealous.
  8. I need to go see a dentist.
  9. I don’t appreciate my kids enough.
  10. WILF has more than one meaning.
  11. Other Peoples Kids pee in their beds, too.
  12. Football (soccer) looks simple and easy on television.
  13. It isn’t.
  14. Especially when playing against people half your age.
  15. And half your weight.
  16. A body in motion tends to stay in motion.
  17. Phish Food is freakin’ awesome after a football match.

Perhaps more later… I have a report to write.

I’m number one!

Heh. I’m the number one google search for laker pda theme.

And this one was an accident, unlike my high rankings for Emma Watson. I’m guessing school is out because a lot of people are looking for her bra size, or her boobs, and sometimes her breasts, and oddly enough they think a web site called “sillyoldbear” might have that particular information.