Dublin personals

How can you possibly not love the Irish?
“Personal ads” in the Dublin News:

Heavy drinker,35, Cork area. Seeks gorgeous sex addict interested in a man who loves his pints, cigarettes, Glasgow Celtic Football Club and starting fights on Patrick Street at three o’clock in the morning.


Bitter, disillusioned Dublin man, lately rejected by long-time fiancée, seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches.


Ginger haired Galway man, a trouble-maker, gets slit-eyed and shirty after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more.


Bad tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard, living in a damp cottage in the arse end of Roscommon, seeks attractive 21 year old blonde lady, with a lovely chest.


Devil-worshipper, Offaly area, seeks like-minded lady, for wining and dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks, and slaughtering cats in cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon.


Limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8 PM and 11:30 PM.


Optimistic Mayo man, 35, seeks a blonde 20 year old double-jointed supermodel,who owns her own brewery and has an open-minded twin sister

Denied

So after Genuine and I traded a couple of e-mails and then my wife and I talked about it, I decided to call Cingular to see about upgrading my phones. Our old Nokia 5165’s are a little tired (we bought them the week of 9/11, along with some duct tape) and I wanted a rate plan with rollover minutes. I saw that we could get phones with a nice rebate from Amazon but the customer service people said that Cingular would give me a free upgrade since my contract was up 🙂 but only online, not at a store.

The web site crapped out and said “call this 800 phone number” so I did.

I was treated to a recording that said “We are experiencing a condition where the building has been evacuated. Please try later.”

I then realized the sales center is in Florida. Oops!