The sad thing is that I signed up for this

Back when we were looking for a place to stay at the beach, I logged into a lot of “vacation rental” type of web sites. In spite of the fact that I was being very specific in where we wanted to stay (“Galveston. On the beach. Not across the street. Two adults, three kids.” for example) I still get weekly ‘vacation special’ emails like this one. This is a cut/paste:

villa in tuscany Tuscany, Florence Email Manager
super last minut
increbibe super last minut valaible from 25 sectember to 9 october only 1000 euro for one week. thank you …
more pictures and information
duration (2004-09-25 – 2004-10-09) Sleeps 16
7 Bedroom(s)
6 Bathroom (s)

Notice this e-mail arrived in my mailbox ten minutes ago and it truly is “last minut” as it starts tomorrow… half a world away!

To Genuine, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar

An 80 year old man went into the confessional and told the priest the following:

“Father, I am an 80 year old man, I’m married, I have 4 children and 11 grandchildren. Last night I strayed and had an affair with two 18 year old girls. We partied and made love all night long.”

The priest said, “My son, when was the last time you were at confession?”

The old man said, “I have never been to confession, I’m Jewish.”

The priest asked, “Then why are you here telling me this?”

The old man replied, “Father, I’m telling everyone!”

(ya know I’m just ribbin ya, cuz I’m jealous)