My child makes her point.

Our baby is very cheerful. All the dang time. Take this morning. It’s Monday, it’s a little chilly out (fifties), we had to get up early. She is smiling and laughing and singing (la la la). She can’t talk very well, yet. She has a few words – “Mama” “da da”. But boy, can she communicate.

If she wants something she will very gently take your hand, look you in the eye, and then start walking toward what she wants. For instance, she is often dragging me to the kitchen. (we feed her, I swear, but five minutes after a meal she’s ready to go again. She’s gonna love thanksgiving). Sometimes she wants to show you something in her room, or outside.

On Saturday we were at a party with many of my wife’s co-workers. It was getting a little late, we were sitting outside, and my daughter took my hand and looked at me expectantly.

“Okay, where do you want to go?”

We went across the deck, and oh-so-carefully down the three steps to the lawn (they are kinda big but she refused to sit down and swing her legs over, she wanted to step down like a big kid). Across the grass, around the picnic table, past the hammock, near the little bird bath. To the farthest corner of the garden, near the fence.

Then, she left me there.

She let go of my hand and ran back to the deck, back to my wife and the other party goers. She never looked back.

Sigh.

Beer, it’s not just for breakfast anymore

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative;
2. Preliminary;
3. Proliferation;
4. Cinnamon.

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:
1. Specificity;
2. British Constitution;
3. Passive-aggressive disorder.

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex;
2. Nope, no more beer for me;
3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type;
4. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight?
5. Oh, I couldn’t. No one wants to hear me sing.


Billy-Bob and Bubba were sitting in back of their trailers shooting the breeze.

Billy-Bob asked Bubba, “If I snuck ovah to your house while you wuz out fishin’ an’ banged your wife, an’ she got pregnant, would dat make us kin?”

Bubba scratched his head for a bit then said, “I don’t think so… but it shore would make us even.”