From a friend who works for a major airline:
A woman was looking at the animals on display in a pet store. A few minutes later, man walked in and said to the shopkeeper “I’ll take a Ramp Monkey, please”.
The shopkeeper nodded and took a monkey out of a cage. He put a collar and leash on the animal and handed it the man, saying, “That’ll be $5,000.” The man paid and left with the monkey.
The surprised woman went to the shopkeeper and said, “That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?
“The shopkeeper answered, “Ah, that’s a Ramp Monkey. He can drive tractors, load cargo, and guide aircraft into gates. All with no back talk or complaints. He’s well worth the money.”
The woman then spotted a monkey in another cage. “That one’s even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?” “Oh, that one” replied the shopkeeper. “That’s a “Flight Attendant Monkey, she’s semi-attractive and personable. She can serve drinks and meals, and even evacuate passengers from an aircraft in an emergency. A very useful monkey indeed.”
The woman looked around a little longer and found a monkey with a $50,000 price tag. The shocked woman exclaimed, “This one costs more than all the others put together! What in the world can it do?”
“Well,” said the shopkeeper, “I’ve never actually seen him do anything except drink beer and play with his dick. But his papers say he’s a Pilot.”
