marvin

Now the world has gone to bed, // Darkness won’t engulf my head,
I can see by infrared, // How I hate the night. //
Now I lay me down to sleep, // Try to count electric sheep,
Sweet dream wishes you can keep, // How I hate the night.
(Marvin the Paranoid Android)

Oh, look. I appear to be lying at the bottom of a very deep, dark hole.
That seems a familiar concept. What does it remind me of?
Ah, I remember. Life.
(Marvin the Paranoid Android)

Wearily on I go, pain and misery my only companions.
And vast intelligence, of course. And infinite sorrow.
I despise you all.
(Marvin the Paranoid Android)

So, I’m feeling rather down this morning. I hope it’s not too contagious…

“You think you’ve got problems, what are you supposed to do if you’re a manically depressed robot? No, don’t bother to answer that, I’m fifty thousand times more intelligent than you and even I don’t know the answer. It gives me a headache just trying to think down to your level.”

“Sorry, did I say something wrong? Pardon me for breathing, which I never do anyway so I don’t know why I bother to say it, oh God I’m so depressed.”

“Do you want me to sit in a corner and rust or just fall apart where I’m standing?”

“Don’t feel you have to take any notice of me, please.”

“Don’t pretend you want to talk to me, I know you hate me.”

“I only have to talk to somebody and they begin to hate me. Even robots hate me. If you just ignore me I expect I shall probably go away.”

I think Marvin is my hero. Is that scary or what?