jokes

I’m starting to depress even myself with my posts. Here’s a joke from my mom:

Pedro was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking place.

Looking up toward heaven, he said “Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up tequila.”

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Pedro looked up again and said “Never mind. I found one.”

Also, headlines from this weeks Onion:

Katrina: White Foragers Report Threat Of Black Looters
Unmissable headlines from today’s Onion: “Government Relief Workers Mosey In To Help,” “Louisiana National Guard Offers Help By Phone From Iraq” “Refugees Moved From Sewage-Contaminated Superdome To Hellhole Of Houston,” and “Bush Urges Victims To Gnaw On Bootstraps For Sustenance.”

(thanks to Boing Boing for the summary!)

There was this young lady who was five feet three inches tall and pleasantly plump.

After she had a minor accident, her mother accompanied her to the emergency room. When the triage nurse asked for her height and weight, she blurted out, “Five-foot-eight and 125 pounds.”

While the nurse pondered this information, her Mom leaned over and said, “Sweetheart, this is not the Internet.”

Everyone else is posting jokes, so I want to, too.

Q: What’s brown and sticky?

A: A stick.