I haven’t had anything traumatic or dramatic or any sort of matic happen lately.
So here ya go, I’m thinking about grilling some brats.
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I don’t think I’ve shared my love for Jenny lately. I have been reading her new Memoir, “Let’s Pretend this Never Happened,” and laughing so hard I have to frequently set it down for fear of spilling my beverage.
I will admit this book is not for everyone, she isn’t afraid of using four letter words and it rambles just like one of my blog posts. So of course I love it.
Anyway, she has been running a sort of “greatest hits” on her blog while she is touring around signing her book (today she is in San Antonio) and today’s entry is when we first met Copernicus (“a small, stuffed monkey, which seemed to have some sort of snout leprosy and would probably murder us in our sleep”) last year.
Here’s an excerpt (Victor is her husband, btw):
Victor: Oh, holy shit. Put that thing down.
me: Are you fucking crazy? HE NEEDS US. Plus, he is made of awesome. And nightmares.
Copernicus: MISTER, CAN YOU SPARE A HUG?
Victor: Did you just make that monkey talk?
Copernicus: A HUG IS LIKE A STRANGLE YOU HAVEN’T FINISHED YET.
Victor: What is wrong with you?
me: OH MY GOD, HE’S FANTASTIC. Plus, he just used “strangle” as a noun. Who does that? Copernicus the homicidal monkey, that’s who.
Now you know why I haven’t been writing much, too busy reading. Oh, other stuff, too, maybe I’ll share (still haven’t renewed my domain, I think I have a week or so left to decide).
Check her out, she’s good.
Tags: Bloggess, homicidal monkeys
I don’t know what exactly is going on, but there is a bird that lives outside my window and he (or she) has seriously taken to heart the whole “early bird gets the worm” thing.
3 o’clock in the fucking morning this bird wakes up. And sings. Loud. This has been going on for almost a week. I don’t know if they are looking for a mate, I guess if I was I would be singing, too, but apparently there aren’t any other birds up at that time, since I only hear the one. Maybe it’s internal clock is messed up (I imagine the poor thing having to take a nap in the afternoon). Maybe there is a cat trying to sneak up to it’s nest and it is sounding the alarm. But dayum, LOUD.
And so yeah, I’m up at three AM every night lately.
Most of the time I can go back to sleep, sometimes not so much. There is an old proverb of “you’ve made your bed, now lie in it.” That’s me. I miss sharing my bed. I’m not just talking about sex, but of course I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss sex. I miss sharing lots of things, the touch and sound and scent and the comfort of a loved one nearby. I miss sharing all this with my wife.
I hope my bird finds a friend soon, so maybe they will sleep a little better. This shit’s getting old.
Tags: birds
I’m laughing at this; remember my ‘woe is me I’m all toxic’ post from a couple weeks ago? Yeah, what a fine bit of self-journalism that was.
Anyway, this is a much better use of Choose the Form of the Destructor.
(I get nothing from you clicking the link or buying or anything. I just think it’s funny).