Driving in a strange vehicle is one of my favorite things to do, but wow there can be a learning curve.
My daughter and I took a road trip over the weekend, and I was trying to learn some of the features as we went.
It has a navigation computer. Okay, you can’t type the address while you are on the highway, so I tried using the voice prompt. Anyone who knows me also knows that understanding me can be, well, challenging. The computer was not up to the task.
This happened:
Daughter: I’m hungry. Can I have McDonalds?
Me: Sure, let’s find one. (presses button)
Car: State your request.
Me: Find McDonalds
Car: Please use a question, such as ‘Find Nearest Gas Station.’
Me: Find nearest McDonalds.
Car: Here is a list of nearby hotels. Choose a line number.
Me: No, McDonalds (speaking slower and louder)
Car: Invalid command. Please use a question, or say “back” to go to previous screen.
Me: Find nearest fast food.
Car: Here is a list of nearby post offices. Choose a line number.
This went on for a while, and eventually I gave up on it telling me anything useful about McDonalds or “food” or anything. I remembered there should be a McDonalds a couple of towns ahead of us, assuming it hadn’t shut down or moved in the last year or so since I was there last. I wanted to get an idea of how soon we might arrive, so then this happened:
Me: Find Mexia
Car: What?
Me: Mexia.
Car: Please spell the name of the city.
Me: M… E… X…
Car: Next what? Learn to talk you damn hick.
Sequences may be shortened.
I also may have paraphrased the car’s replies a little. You don’t want to know what the car thought when I said Jesus Jumping Christ on a cracker.
Other notes: The air blows cold enough to give me mild frostbite, there are shift paddles where the cruise controls are positioned in the other car (oops), and OMG y’all: XM Radio is the fucking BOMB. Why didn’t somebody tell me about this sooner? No commercials, decent sound, and not having to hunt through 100 country stations to find the one station that has rock, just to drive out of range ten minutes later.
