shoes

I can’t believe how grown up my little girl is.

I took her shoe shopping, and not only was she a total diva (refused to even try on anything at Payless) but she had to get shoes, with laces.

Because she can tie shoes now. Really, she can.

She’s four, people.

Also? She can count to thirty without any help. Why? Because of those temporary tattoos where you hold a sponge or wet paper towel on them until they come off the paper. In other words, she’s learning advanced math (for a four year old, at least) because she has too many tattoos. If that isn’t grown up, I don’t know what is.

Once again, I’ve tapped into the vast, underutilized power of the internet to buy a pair of shoes. It came with free shipping, which means (of course): pack mule.

Here’s where my little shoes have been:

HOUSTON,
TX, US 10/02/2006 4:00 P.M. DEPARTURE SCAN
10/02/2006 10:17 A.M. ARRIVAL SCAN
MESQUITE,
TX, US 10/02/2006 6:30 A.M. DEPARTURE SCAN
MESQUITE,
TX, US 09/30/2006 4:43 A.M. ARRIVAL SCAN
SALINA,
KS, US 09/29/2006 9:01 P.M. DEPARTURE SCAN
09/29/2006 7:01 P.M. ARRIVAL SCAN
COMMERCE CITY,
CO, US 09/29/2006 11:16 A.M. DEPARTURE SCAN
COMMERCE CITY,
CO, US 09/28/2006 1:10 P.M. ARRIVAL SCAN
SALT LAKE CITY,
UT, US 09/28/2006 4:24 A.M. DEPARTURE SCAN
09/28/2006 2:01 A.M. ARRIVAL SCAN
HERMISTON,
OR, US 09/27/2006 8:45 A.M. DEPARTURE SCAN
09/27/2006 6:35 A.M. ARRIVAL SCAN
REDMOND,
WA, US 09/27/2006 12:59 A.M. DEPARTURE SCAN
REDMOND,
WA, US 09/26/2006 11:31 P.M. ARRIVAL SCAN
EVERETT,
WA, US 09/26/2006 9:00 P.M. DEPARTURE SCAN
09/26/2006 7:46 P.M. ORIGIN SCAN
US 09/26/2006 2:20 P.M. BILLING INFORMATION RECEIVED

Tracking results provided by UPS: 10/02/2006 10:21 P.M. EST (USA)

Here’s a new challenge.

16 Different Ways to To Tie Your Shoes.

(I admit, I’m still working on the “first” way that I learned almost 40 years ago, but this isn’t about ME).

First of all, we found the wayward shoes. Right after my wife went out and bought new ones (gotta put something on their feet to go to school, damn laws and such).

And sorry, Mir, you’re right (stereotypes about black men not withstanding), they aren’t size five, they are size four.

And finally, it’s National De-Lurking Week. Do yo know what lurking is? Sure you do. It’s when you don’t leave a comment. So ‘De-Lurking’ (kinda like ‘de-cloaking to you Star Trek fans) is actually leaving a comment, or dropping an e-mail if you don’t wish to let anyone else know you actually read my drivel.

So please, won’t you leave a comment? I promise not to bite. Unless, of course, you’re into that sort of thing…

Missing: One pair of New Balance boys tennis shoes.

Size five.

Last seen: on my boy’s feet Friday afternoon on the way home from school.

We have scoured this house backward and forward, top to bottom. They are nowhere to be found. He wore Yu-gi-Oh sandals to church this morning. Not that he minded.

Would you mind, in the course of your day, glancing in your closets or on your kids feet or under their bed, and lemme know if you’ve gained a pair of shoes? I don’t know where else they could be. I figure he found a way to e-mail them off somewhere.

Thanks.