petting_zoo

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. How on earth anybody could prepare this list without falling out of their chair laughing. I found the story at the Rolling Stone, they picked it up from the NYT, it’s everywhere. Or it should be.

How I wish I were making this up….

The Department of Homeland Security has identified more potential terrorist targets in Nebraska than California. But no state has more Qaeda-tempting assets than . . . Indiana!?! For fuck’s sake. The state has cheek to list 13 more skyscrapers than the Sears Tower state, Illinois! (FYI: This little fat thing is the tallest building in the state.)

Here the Top 10 states by number of vital “assests” DHS is determined to protect from Osama:
Indiana — 8,591
Wisconsin — 7,146
New York — 5,687
Virginia — 4,231
Washington (state) — 3,650
Texas — 3,804
Nebraska — 3,457
California — 3,212
Pennsylvania — 2,873
Illinois — 2,059

Overall the Homeland Security list includes: 1,305 casinos, 718 mortuaries, 159 cruise ships, 34 Coca Cola bottlers, 25 golf courses. . .

It also includes such tempting targets as: “Old MacDonald’s Petting Zoo,” “Bean Fest,” “Jay’s Sporting Goods,” “Nix’ Check Cashing,” “4 C’s Fuel and Lube,” “The Mule Day Parade,” “Amish Country Popcorn,” and “DPW Landfill.”

Full DHS Report for your, um, enjoyment.