google

Well, at least one that tickles the imagination:

Scarlett Johansson hooters uniform

I’m happy to report that I’m number 53 on Google for “heartless monkey.”

Okay, apparently the jig is up. (is that how the saying goes? Isn’t “gig” just as appropriate?)

I’ve been googled not once but three times by someone at the US House of Representatives. Just this morning!

Maybe I’ve said something wrong. Perhaps, as we speak, my cell phone (which is, you know, LOST) is being tapped without a search warrant by somebody at our govt. Or somebody else’s govt (”Hey, you don’t need a warrant anymore! Let’s go!”) Perhaps someone has learned of my sordid love affair with Tivo and they are drafting a constitutional amendment banning our planned nuptials.

I hear Cuba is nice this time of year. So if I don’t post anymore… can y’all send cookies there? Thanks, internets.

I have to go find more coffee, since I just spilled mine all over myself.

At the moment I’m the top search result for “telling your kids not to have sex” - Google Search

I always wanted to live life as a warning to others…

That somebody is looking for this?

Or that they found me this way?

masturbate television characters “land of the lost” - Google Search

Then again, Chaka was a real hottie, for a man-ape…