Reaching that point

Where I keep asking myself “Why the fuck do I bother?”

Really, really.

Kids these days

So the other day we’re in the car.

Daughter: “Where are the groceries?”

Me: “They’re in the trunk.”

Daughter: “What is trunk?”

Me: “mm.. in the way back.”

My kids have no memory of a car with a trunk. We’ve had a hatchback or a minivan their entire lives.

And I’m feeling old.

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Thud.

So sorry, y’all, having a bit of a time right now. But here’s something to distract all of us momentarily. Shamelessly lifted from Busy Mom’s blog… (she said it was OK)

  1. Name someone with the same birthday as you. Eric Clapton.
  2. Where was your first kiss? Probably at church during a youth group dance. I think.
  3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property? Nothing that couldn’t be fixed. Or washed off.
  4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? Does football count?
  5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? I was once in a stage production of ‘Grease,’ and yes, they made me sing. After years of therapy I think my fellow cast has come out of this experience stronger.
  6. What’s the first thing you notice about your preferred sex? I prefer noticing them.
  7. What really turns you off? Kids banging on the door. Wait, what?
  8. What do you order at Starbucks? Coffee. Cheapest they have. Not that I go there much.
  9. What is your biggest mistake? That whole ‘being born’ thing at the moment.
  10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? Not unless you count getting really, really drunk.
  11. Say something totally random about yourself. I’m nearsighted.
  12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? Not that I can remember.
  13. Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows? All. the. time.
  14. Did you have braces? oh yes.
  15. Are you comfortable with your height? Yes.
  16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the preferred sex has done for you? Taken care of me when I was sick.
  17. When do you know it’s love? When they don’t leave.
  18. Do you speak any other languages? No. I should probably learn some Spanish, and tried 20 years ago with some language tapes, but nada.
  19. Have you ever been to tanning salon? You’re kidding, right?
  20. Have you ever ridden in a limo? yes, a couple times.
  21. What’s something that really annoys you? People that ask too many questions.
  22. What’s something you really like? Free beer.
  23. Can you dance? Not to save my life.
  24. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? Yes. At least I hope they rushed, considering how much I paid for the ride.
  25. Tag 5 people! Tag, you’re it!

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Stoopid people

This post, in my head at least, was going to be titled “Stupid White People.” But I think that isn’t being fair to all the other stupid people, so why leave anyone out?

This really happened. A few days ago some guy escaped from prison. Hundreds of miles from here. It was in the news, maybe you saw it, he supposedly jumped the guard and escaped on foot, even though he has been bound to a wheelchair for years. So, yeah, strange.

That doesn’t really concern me too much. I mean, yeah, we caught you and decided you were guilty and sent you to jail and you should have the decency to just stay there, but whatever. Maybe he didn’t like the food. I hear they only get to watch Fox and not CNN. Who knows.

Here’s what does concern me – some well intentioned person said they saw the guy here in town. And then – suddenly – there were “multiple positive identifications” of the guy riding a bike (remember the wheelchair?) here.

So, knee jerkers that we are, they called out the dogs (see the picture on the link, that’s 2 miles from my house) and they locked down the schools. Because a guy that is the subject of a manhunt might go where there are lots and lots of people instead of running and / or hiding.

An hour or so later they find the guy on the bike and he’s a long-time resident who just happens to have dark skin and be (gasp) outside on a bike and gee, those multiple positive people suddenly said ‘yeah, well, he was black and it might have been him’ and gee willikers, oops.

Only yeah, guess what? I now have a six year old that is terrified to go to sleep at night because “that man” might be outside. It doesn’t help when we tell her he’s probably in Mexico by now. Six years old isn’t old enough to be able to process this shit.

So if you see him and call the cops? You can have the reward, but I’ll be your new best friend. Forever. And we can start sleeping at night, again.

No escape from reality? Puhlease.

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Momma?

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