So anyway, I’ve been reading a ton of nutritional data on various things. And of course, eating at home has the most potential for eating healthy, as long as you aren’t frying everything. Eating out is certainly convenient in that you don’t have to do the dishes after.

They say that portion sizes have grown tremendously over the years. Remember when we were young, (okay, when I was young), and you got a burger and fries and a drink and you had to (gasp) pay extra if you wanted another drink? There wasn’t a labor-saving soda fountain just waiting for you to top off your 64 oz. mega soda a couple times a meal? Even Jesus has had his Last Supper super-sized.

Burgers were smaller (I call them “wimpy burgers” now, after the dude on Popeye that was always wanting a Burger Bailout, he could pretty much wolf one in a bite or two). Drinks were ten, maybe twelve ounces. Chicken was not on the menu, usually, nor was salad.

Anyway, that’s not the point of this rambling. Okay, part of it.

Way back when everything was in black and white and mastadons roamed the earth, a common meal would be burger, fries, and a shake. Quick, delicious (usually) and filling.

Guess what? They are really getting filling now.

Just for grins I looked at several fast food places to see what a burger, fries, and shake would run you, calorie-wise. This was inspired because I ate at Chili’s the other day and had a yummy burger and looked it up after the fact and realized it was over 1,500 calories, and that was without the shake. By the way, it is really really easy to find nutrition info, so there’s no excuse to be like me and just think “that doesn’t look too big.”

Forewarned is forearmed, so here ya go:

McDonalds QP with cheese plus medium fries and shake? 1470 calories. Supersize it and you’ll gain another 700. The shake on this meal (and all of them listed here) is at least a third of the total.

Whataburger? Sorry, a whataburger, fries and shake set you back 2100 calories and 32.5 grams of saturated fat (out of the 20 grams of saturated fat you are supposed to have in a day. By the way, every single meal I’m talking about goes over that little nutritional threshhold).

Burger King’s whopper + fries + shake is 1760, splitting between Micky D’s and Whataburger. At this point I’d like to say that yes, some of you don’t have a Whataburger, but we do and they are awesome, aside from the belt-stretching side-effects, so that’s why they are listed here.

Wendy’s? Not too bad, 1350 calories for the Big Three and that’s AFTER putting cheese on the 1/4 pound single, leave that off and you save 70 calories. A single slice of cheese. Mmmm… cheese.

Just for fun, here’s Chili’s. I know they don’t have a drive thru but they are almost as fast as any of the others if you call ahead:
Oldtimer with cheese, shake and fries: a cool 2000 calories. Better than a The King.

(footnote: Dairy Queen, estranged ex of the Burger King, who until recently was quite proud of their “Beltbuster” but seems to have purged it from their menu, has a 1/4 burger, shake and fries for 1630 calories and 27 grams of saturated fat)

And now I’m all hungry.

I’ve also been trying to adjust my attitude, which anyone who has met me probably would heartily recommend. That’s a bit harder than just choosing an apple instead of a bag of chips.

But, oddly enough, it seems to be working. I have times, actually like chunks of a day or more, where I feel.. almost normal. Almost happy. And that’s fucking huge. I know I sound pretty whiny, a lot, and even here I do. But really it is exhausting to be just down all. the. time. So it’s nice to feel like I finally have my nose above water.

Even if only for a while, before another rogue wave comes along.

Oh, yeah, I’m running again. Some.

But, it could be, so go ahead and hum along.

We were driving the other day, and there were a bunch of cones by the road and people directing traffic because the annual half marathon was happening. My daughter (always observant) said “They’re running, like Daddy used to.”

Of course, she won’t stop there, she went on with “Why did Daddy quit?”

I was trying to drive so I didn’t say anything right away, but my wife responded with something along the lines of ‘he got busy doing other things.’

She would have been more accurate to just say “He’s a quitter. He quits everything, or does it half-assed. He quit running, he quit cycling, he quit trying to build a real career, he quit his diet. It’s probably only a matter of time before he quits all of us, too. The only good thing he has quit was smoking.”

But she couldn’t say that, because that would be admitting to my kids that you can smoke and not die or burst into flames.

And as I’m writing this I’m tempted to write something like “intensely calm” because it was that much of a departure from the way I normally am.

And then I started overthinking it and wondering “I wonder if this is what it’s like for other people? Is this is how church is supposed to make you feel?”

And then it was gone, and I was back to normal, whatever that is. My usual self, full of doubts and worries and fears and horrible black oily stuff that – oh, wait, no, that was on a movie I saw. Anyway, my usual self.

The self that I pretty much hate. But I’m thinking maybe if I keep going to church for another 40 years, I’ll get a moment like that again.

We’ll see.

Really, really.

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you. Eric Clapton.
2. Where was your first kiss? Probably at church during a youth group dance. I think.
3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property? Nothing that couldn’t be fixed. Or washed off.
4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? Does football count?
5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? I was once in a stage production of ‘Grease,’ and yes, they made me sing. After years of therapy I think my fellow cast has come out of this experience stronger.
6. What’s the first thing you notice about your preferred sex? I prefer noticing them.
7. What really turns you off? Kids banging on the door. Wait, what?
8. What do you order at Starbucks? Coffee. Cheapest they have. Not that I go there much.
9. What is your biggest mistake? That whole ‘being born’ thing at the moment.
10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? Not unless you count getting really, really drunk.
11. Say something totally random about yourself. I’m nearsighted.
12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? Not that I can remember.
13. Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows? All. the. time.
14. Did you have braces? oh yes.
15. Are you comfortable with your height? Yes.
16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the preferred sex has done for you? Taken care of me when I was sick.
17. When do you know it’s love? When they don’t leave.
18. Do you speak any other languages? No. I should probably learn some Spanish, and tried 20 years ago with some language tapes, but nada.
19. Have you ever been to tanning salon? You’re kidding, right?
20. Have you ever ridden in a limo? yes, a couple times.
21. What’s something that really annoys you? People that ask too many questions.
22. What’s something you really like? Free beer.
23. Can you dance? Not to save my life.
24. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? Yes. At least I hope they rushed, considering how much I paid for the ride.
25. Tag 5 people! Tag, you’re it!

I have to say 10 honest things about myself.

Ahem.

1. I only had four hours of sleep last night, and today keep getting chills.
2. Okay, that one was lame. You don’t wanna hear that kinda stuff, do you? Well, I blame the chills on eating barbecue last night and not getting enough sleep.
3. Oh, wow, this is easy! I’m already to number three.
4. I suffer from depression. Sometimes less, sometimes more, but it never truly goes away.
5. I have finished two books so far this year. One of them I started in 2007. Shut up. I’m trying to set a good example for others. I fully plan to finish a third by the end of the year.
6. When something tragic (or potentially tragic) happens, I tend to crack jokes. It’s a coping mechanism. Not everyone likes this about me. Usually they are too kind to say anything about it; I realize that it can be off-putting and I try to control myself.
7. This should not be a surprise if you’ve ever read my blog, but I kinda like movies. That’s why I didn’t get much sleep last night (weren’t you paying attention? That was number 1, and two.) I went to see Where the Wild Things Are at the midnite movie
8. Going to midnite movies here makes me feel incredibly old, not only am I like double anyone’s age, but I was the only one a) sober and 2) driving a minivan.
9. Speaking of old, can you believe Favre is still playing? And undefeated? (at this writing). While technically this statement is not about me, it is honest.
10. Depression means I constantly have to step back from the keyboard, because the stuff I might write would probably get me the “loony” label faster than you can say Balloon Boy’s Family Gets Their Own TV Show. At the very least it would all be presented in divorce proceedings. So step away I do, a lot, and instead talk about movies and football and balloons.

Go, do.

One thing I’m looking forward to, probably too much, is a new movie that should be out in a couple weeks. I know there’s more than one, so here’s a hint:

Have a great day.

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