‹ you know what to do with your hands •
- Trying to buy a dog crate. Amazon.com “Gift wrap not available.” Well, drat. #
- Dear, um, “News” organizations: When someone tells you they have bigfoot in a freezer, don’t act surprised when it’s a joke. BIGFOOT. #
- My son just came out of his bedroom, filled a cup with whipped cream, and disappeared again. #
- America: raise your hand if you could even CLIMB the 10 meter platform, much less dive in with a teensy splash? (cough “not me” cough) #
- Women’s Beach Volleyball; medal match. Lots o’ rain. Plenty of times to say “slippery” and “wet.” I think at the end they’re adding jello #
- Beach volleyball brought the fail whale back! Ha! (everything’s better when wet) #
- I like the little “swoosh” on the beach volleyball player’s ass. Corporate tramp stamp. #
- @vmarinelli Hey, I thought of you the other night while watching “Sarah Connor Chronicles.” You any good with a machine gun? #
- @vmarinelli Just the “smoldering brunette” thing. #
- @shutterblog Fay moving so slow, just about everyone in danger of flooding. Y’all be careful. #
- heh, request a refund (THEY screwed up), and have them say “After reviewing your account it has been decided to return your $1.08.” #
- NBC practically guaranteed a Gold Medal for the softball team. They haven’t lost in eight years. Um, choke much? #
- Fish swim. Birds fly. Daddies yell. Mommas cry. Old men sit and think. I drink. #
- It’s a circus out here, momma, your baby’s got the side show blues. #
- @vmarinelli and I HAD to click on that link. It’s like a biological reflex or something. #
- We’re pissin’ in the wind, and it’s blowin’ on all our friends. We’re gonna sit and grin and tell our grandchildren… #
- Tonite we Meet the Teacher, and see who drew the short straw to have my kids in their classroom. #
- I picked a bad week to quit drinking. #
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